Archive for 'mumble'

is so freaking pissed. <a rel="nofollow"…

Posted on 25. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

is so freaking pissed.

clearly didn’t drink enough last night…I’ve got…

Posted on 25. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

clearly didn’t drink enough last night…I’ve got such a headache.

Hmm 2 girls going to the Sushi Lounge for dinner.…

Posted on 25. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Hmm 2 girls going to the Sushi Lounge for dinner. Can I really order a tuna roll without laughing? Probably not.

needs to remind herself that both people need to…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

needs to remind herself that both people need to make an equal effort otherwise you risk having someone feel like they have been taken advantage of.

Ringwood ave or Skyline dr? <a rel="nofollow"…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Ringwood ave or Skyline dr?

is glad I finally found my “goin out purse”…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

is glad I finally found my “goin out purse” otherwise I couldn’t go out.

is not a fan of sharing her blood. She prefers to…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

is not a fan of sharing her blood. She prefers to keep it all for herself.

I need to get motivated so I can make the most of…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I need to get motivated so I can make the most of my day off. The weather along with some other things aren’t really helping.

Hmmm now that’s interesting… <a rel="nofollow"…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Hmmm now that’s interesting…

Bruce Lee-Roy is no joke. <a rel="nofollow"…

Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Bruce Lee-Roy is no joke.

would really like to crawl into a hole right now…

Posted on 23. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

would really like to crawl into a hole right now until it’s tomorrow so she can start a new day, but that’s really not her style.

Is it Friday yet? <a rel="nofollow"…

Posted on 22. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Is it Friday yet?

Oh boy, I think The Event may have me at hello. <a…

Posted on 22. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Oh boy, I think The Event may have me at hello.

One observation from back to school night. If you…

Posted on 22. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

One observation from back to school night. If you are a doctor do you roll up with your scrub top on that is embroidered with your name and m.d. after it?

is trying to not let one comment f-up her whole…

Posted on 21. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

is trying to not let one comment f-up her whole day.

is both amused and a little creeped out that her…

Posted on 21. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

is both amused and a little creeped out that her gynecologist’s ringtone is Close to You by The Carpenters.

I’d have my secretary do it but she’s dead. <a…

Posted on 21. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I’d have my secretary do it but she’s dead.

I need you here, but you’re always so far away……

Posted on 21. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I need you here, but you’re always so far away…

And can someone explain why boys feel the need to…

Posted on 20. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

And can someone explain why boys feel the need to spontaneously drop their pants to handle their junk or” moon” me. I was an angel when I was young. Why me?

What do you do when your child wants a playdate…

Posted on 20. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

What do you do when your child wants a playdate with a kid who’s parents are kinda freaks and you have zero interest in ever having a conversation with them, let alone have to hang out with them?

“I find conservative sexy….and 22-25 years old…

Posted on 19. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

“I find conservative sexy….and 22-25 years old sexy.”-Todd (You know I’m sitting right here and can hear everything you say.)

OMG. I am just so close…hurry up already. <a…

Posted on 19. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

OMG. I am just so close…hurry up already.

this is the part of the fast where I get a little…

Posted on 18. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

this is the part of the fast where I get a little crazy.

Where is my good underwear? The question is why…

Posted on 18. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Where is my good underwear? The question is why isn’t all your underwear good?

I’d like to state for the record that I didn’t…

Posted on 17. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I’d like to state for the record that I didn’t realize the nun in the red Cadillac wanted to get in front of me until it was too late. Sorry Sister.

I feel kinda bad that I ignored the clerk at the…

Posted on 17. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I feel kinda bad that I ignored the clerk at the store who apparently really wanted to tell me he’s training to be a firefighter. Twice he told me “I better get used to the heat..”. I just wanted to leave so I could have some of the Big League Chew I bought.

I hate when someone calls the office & I tell…

Posted on 17. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I hate when someone calls the office & I tell them the person they’re looking for isn’t here, they laugh. What do u want me to do, he’s not here d-bag, I can’t help it if u have shitty timing. I also can’t stand the people who act totally shocked that the person they are calling to speak to isn’t here. Oh sorry I know you expected him/her to just wait around for YOUR call all day!! Some people are a$$holes.

I will be busy atoning starting tonight. It’s…

Posted on 17. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I will be busy atoning starting tonight. It’s looking like I’ll need the full 24 hours this year.

had the fuzziest edamame for lunch today. It…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

had the fuzziest edamame for lunch today. It almost felt a little awkward eating it.

I really need to give up this rock star lifestyle,…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I really need to give up this rock star lifestyle, it’s really more than I can handle.

let’s go all the way tonight… <a rel="nofollow"…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

let’s go all the way tonight…

Listen son, you and your yellow car need to settle…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

Listen son, you and your yellow car need to settle down.

sorry I cannot hear you I’m kinda busy…whoo…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

sorry I cannot hear you I’m kinda busy…whoo hoo!!

thank God my replacement showed up tonight so I…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

thank God my replacement showed up tonight so I could punch out and have some girls only fun tonight.

How many police officers does it take to search…

Posted on 16. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

How many police officers does it take to search the car of a kid long suspected of selling drugs in the neighborhood? The answer is: 4.

There really is something wrong with me. I just…

Posted on 15. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

There really is something wrong with me. I just saw an 80 year old lady peel out of a parking lot, handicap tags and all and I just can’t stop laughing.

I’m starting to think that I may be seriously…

Posted on 15. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I’m starting to think that I may be seriously underdressed for the Lady Gaga concert tonight. Anybody have a wig, fishnet stockings and a feather mask that I could borrow?

I really wish the 4 year old would stop practicing…

Posted on 15. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I really wish the 4 year old would stop practicing as if he were trying out as the next cast member of Puppetry of the Penis. It freaks his dad out and I would like to keep open the possibility of him having children.

I don’t think this stress relief aromatherapy…

Posted on 14. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

I don’t think this stress relief aromatherapy body lotion is working. Perhaps the next time I put the lotion on I should follow it with a shot of vodka.

too bad I didn’t take the time to check myself out…

Posted on 14. Sep, 2010 by in mumble

too bad I didn’t take the time to check myself out in the mirror. If I did maybe I would have noticed the stains on my shirt. Now that’s a good look for me.
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